Disco Bukowski's Urban Culture Dispatch

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Sun, 19 May 2013 14:24:10 -0400

discopotential: Classixx, “Holding On”Funky, shuffly...

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 16:20:28 -0500

discopotential:

Classixx, “Holding On”

Funky, shuffly nu-disco/disco house that will hold up well through the year.

http://facebook.com/shithotuk

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:43:31 -0500

http://facebook.com/shithotuk

girlsboysartpleasure: MAMA USED TO SAY

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 10:43:02 -0500

girlsboysartpleasure:

MAMA USED TO SAY

FEATURED ARTICLE: Why can't hipsters let go of the past?

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 14:46:00 -0400

I wouldn’t want to fall out with a hipster. I bet they would hold a grudge forever

they just can’t seem to

let

go….

they cant let go of the past.

-sigh-

most of us have moved on.

we understand that the mp3 has replaced the compact disk

we understand that some formats (e.g. the cassette) were made redundant, and we EMBRACE it and UNDERSTAND that it is all a part of life, a part of growing up

things CHANGE

hipsters live in a time bubble

they believe it’s the 70s/80s/90s

from what I have been told

hipsters only ever buy or listen to anything on vinyl so that they can rip as mp3s onto their macbooks (it’s all about that authentic vinyl crackle sound)

whats the point of buying new clothes when you can wear 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th hand clothes from places?

for twice as much as they originally cost

and taking photos on their 8 megapixel iphone camera, just to run through some lo-fi filters and thus becoming “arty”

it’s all about the ‘art’ man

dont judge me. I am just a lowly reporter in this situation

according to reliable sources:

“being hipster is eating nothing but health food and then doing a load of cocaine and meow meow in some dirty pub toilets, and then going and drinking a load of Red Stripe ”

- some hipster dude in London I spoke to, 2012

rumour has it that an elite hipster group, who are calling themselves “the ultimate hipsters”, has been formed in East LDN. They are apparently the most “authentic” hipsters in East London, which would make them one of the most authentic group of hipsters in England, and thus THE WORLD

to be initiated into the group, members must make sure that they:

1. drink 8 glasses of Red Stripe a day

2. they do not ever own anything brand new (how can you ever really own anything anyway, you know what i mean?)

3. they only ever listen to music on a gramophone

the leader of this group, who is only known by his street name of “Mikey Meow Meow” could not be reached for comment, but sources who claim to know him tell the Disco Bukowski Blog reporters that he is real and he is to be feared

like a hipster Kaiser Soze

he snorts more meow meow than TONY MONTANA

ABOVE: possibly the only known photograph of Mikey Meow Meow

but what do I know?

I’m just some JERK

what is really important is what YOU think:

is lo fi the new black?

is Red Stripe the best beer ever?

do hipsters know something everyone else doesnt?

does retro rule?

are you a closet hipster who makes fun of hipster because hipsters don’t accept you?

is it important to maintain a lo-fi aesthetic to remember our ‘roots’?

Fleetwood Mac REUNITE and get MAJOR endorsement deal from McDonalds

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 05:34:23 -0400

“Did she make u cry, make u break down, shatter ur illusions of <3?” - Fleetwood Mac, Gold Dust Woman

Yes, yes the “Rumours” are true. It was announced on Twitter yesterday that The Fleetwood Macs (pictured below) are reuniting for the first time in THREE YEARS to play the 2013 festival circuit and make MILLIONS.

Fleetwood fans everywhere are embracing the news and are already preparing themselves for the ‘legendary’ performances they are anticipating. I am a big fan of The Fleetwoods and think that this is a GREAT business decision on their part. An ‘anonymous source’ says that 64 year old Stevie Nicks has been sighted in McDonalds talking to the staff. Perhaps an endorsement deal is being negotiated between the band and the multi-million dollar fast food chain?

The Fleetwood BigMac™?

Are you thrilled at this reunion or do you think they are past their prime?

Is Rumours (1977) one of the greatest albums ever recorded?

Will there be any sexual tension on stage?

Will The Fleetwood Macs appeal to a younger generation who aspire to be ‘vintage’ or will they just not get what Fleetwood is ‘about’?

rayonativia: Charles Bukowski

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 16:07:23 -0400

rayonativia:

Charles Bukowski

Ronaldinho STICKS IT TO THE MAN by drinking Pepsi to "piss off those Coca-Cola WANKERS"

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 18:37:00 -0400

[image via yahoo!]

Pepsi or Coke? Coke or Pepsi?

This question has plagued mankind for generations, sending some men crazy and driving then to butchering their families, cutting them up and hiding them in empty soda cans

but this guy who is apparently some cricket player or something, Ronaldinho, pictured above looking like a FUCKING DONKEY, really P.O’d off the head honchos at Coca-Cola by drinking a can of PEPSI at some press conference when he should have been sippin’ on an ice cold can ‘o Coke. Nothing beats that RUSH of sugar you get when you down a Coke after a heavy night, am I right?

Apparently, Coca Cola pay this jerk, Ronaldinho, £500,000 a YEAR just to be seen drinking Coke. Sounds like the easiest job in the world, but for some reason Ronaldinho couldn’t quite manage it. Maybe it has something to do with that douchey looking bandanna-esque THING on his head.

According to ‘a source’, Ronaldinho said he was ‘sick of those corporate assholes trying to shit on my personal brand, trying to turn me into a walking billboard, man. I am man. Man is me. I am not a FUCKING COKE CAN. I AM NOBODY’S BITCH.”

Amanda Brick is BACK with another stupid article about herself

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 08:16:12 -0400

You may recall Amanda Brick from earlier on in the year where she sent the whole internet into a wild frenzy after she ‘took it upon herself’ to write an article for the Daily mail proclaiming that other women “HATED” her because she is just so, so “beautiful” causing mass outrage because her pictures made her look TERRIBLE and she sounded like a deluded FOOL:

“On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne. ‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained. You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me…”

Her article ANGERED the whole of the internet and made her a public hate figure, FORCING her to write a followup article about how everyone was ‘just jealous’ of her ‘good looks’ and again, cause MASSIVE OUTRAGE on the internet.

[image via daily mail]

Well now, SHES BACK! with another narcissistic article she’s written for the Daily Mail with the sole intention of getting more attention / confirming her status as a public hate figure / gaining fame and glory / making some sweet, sweet ££££ / angering the whole of the internet / talking GARBAGE about a subject that is of little interest to anybody

Brick, pictured above looking like a waxwork model in the process of melting, now claims that she has some sort of ‘secret underground safe’ in which she keeps all her husbands passwords for his emails and phones and ‘constantly checks up on him’ like some sort of LUNATIC STALKER claiming that, as far as she’s concerned;

“my husband’s emails, voicemails and texts aren’t just his business — they’re mine, too.” - Amanda Brick, 2K12

I wouldn’t want to be her husband Pascal right about now, she might go all FATAL ATTRACTION on his ass and BOIL HIS RABBIT.

Brick goes on to try and drag celebrity chef Jamie Oliver’s wife into her twisted world of insecurity and jealousy, by claiming that ‘she does it too!’

If I were Jamie Oliver’s wife I would try distancing myself from this Amanda Brick character as far as humanly possible.

The hate messages are already flooding in for Amanda, with one person saying:

“Samantha dear trust me your man is safe from all women who can see. Whereas you sweetheart obviously need the optician’s and a working mirror. Actually both of you do.”

while another said:

“Sorry to burst your bubble love….. but what about the emails and texts he deletes before you even get a chance to look at them. See now you will never know unless you stick yourself to him 24 hrs a day, pathetic woman.”

Dont say that! She might have a fit of EXTREME PARANOIA. You’ll send HER OVER THE EDGE, she might go all TAXI DRIVER on you and go on a killing spree, killing you and Pascal first!

Should Amanda Brick TRUST NO ONE?

Is EVERYONE ‘against her’ like what she keeps writing articles about?

Do you agree with Amanda Brick?

Should she be institutionalized?

Should Pascal run a mile?

Would you be P.O’d at Amanda Brick if you were Jamie Oliver’s wife?

Is Brick a hero?

Should women everywhere be more like Brick?

Hero FASSBENDER to star in Assassins Creed adaptation

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 19:02:34 -0400

[image via www.celebitchy.com]

One of the coolest dudes in the biz, the one, the only, Michael Fassbender (pictured above with a small ginger beard signing autographs with what looks like both hands), is confirmed to star in the video game film adaptation.

I have never actually played the game but I think I watched a friend play it once when I went round his house to get drunk but I am not sure. From what I can recall, there’s some dude in it who always wears a hood and goes round killing people for some quest or something? I may or may not be completely wrong.

For more info visit: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18773122

Fassbender was not available for comment, but ‘a friend’ says they can neither confirm or deny that Fassbender has ever actually heard of the game

You can see Fassbender’s “tower of power” in the movie Shame

Scarlett Johansson sighted in bikini with some jerk

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 18:43:24 -0400

[image via popsugar]

Scarlett! How could you?

Who is this JERK and why are you letting him stare at your bum?

I thought me and you had something special

and now

THIS?!

I dont know if I can ever forgive you, but I will try

because I know what me and you have is different

special

perfect

I know we have had our differences, like when you took out that restraining order against me

but I know in my heart of hearts

in the words of Mariah Carey

“we belong 2getha”

Channel 4 RUINS television with new show Midnight Beast

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 20:44:00 -0400

Channel 4, what are you thinking?! First you pollute our screens with that Summer Daze with Blackberry™ CRAP, then you ASSAULT MY SENSES with this new ‘cool’ show called Midnight Beast (or Midnight BREAST like you said in the adverts as a joke, aahahaha how DO you come up with that stuff?!)

Stop trying to recreate the CRAZINESS and youthful appeal of Skins, please C4! It’s NEVER gonna happen you should just GIVE UP

And yeah, we get it, they are ‘trendy kids who live in London’ and they are like ‘proper random and shit’ but yeah I watched about 15 minutes of it and found it AGONIZING to even finish. To be fair thought I wasn’t really even watching it properly, only reason I actually watched any of it was to see if it was a bad as it looked in the adverts and I was waiting for the Ricky Gervais show to come on, but from what I saw I was reminded of some really unfunny version of Flight Of The Concordes where they break into these supposedly ‘funny’ songs about I dont even know what?

[image via digital spy]

Channel 4, you have brought us so many QUALITY SHOWS, I’m just not so sure about you anymore..

Of course, there will be the ‘scene girls’ who will defend the ‘quality’ of this show just because they fancy at least one of the 3 beasts… sigh..

Will Midnight Beast ‘get better with age’ like a fine wine?

Do you need to ‘watch it properly’ to appreciate it’s subtle humour or is it shit no matter what?

WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 20:16:13 -0400

japan or maybe canada

Simon Cowell stalks Zambian Beauty Queen on Twitter

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 12:11:00 -0400

What would you do if an ex-beauty queen broke into your house with a brick? I would probably be a bit like, “huh? who are you?”, but not our friend Simon Cowell. When confronted with the intruder (Miss Zambia beauty-contest finalist, Leanne Zaloumis) who broke into his £9million mansion, Cowell got into contact with SCOTLAND YARD who sent a SQUAD OF ARMED OFFICERS round to ‘take care of her.’

[image via the sun]

Whats wrong Simon? Scared of a GIRL?

Cowell suggested they shoot her in the head, but instead they found her hiding on a shelf covered in her own blood before they escorted her off the property, leaving Cowell feeling ‘terrified and hungy’. Zaloumis claims that Cowell stalked her on twitter, which wouldn’t surprise me considering he is a MASSIVE PERVERT

She walked free yesterday after the judge deemed the 3 months on remand was punishment enough for her crimes.

Would you feel scared or flattered if a beauty contest finalist broke into your home with a brick?

Do you believe Simon Cowell stalked Leanne Zaloumis on twitter or do you think she a LIAR?

Is Simon Cowell ‘sexy and he knows it’?

Massive PERV Gaz from Geordie Shore starts 'sick' Twitter craze

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 09:46:00 -0400

We all know Gaz from Geordie Shore to be a ‘bit of a nob’; a self proclaimed ‘ladies man’ and is famous for having a series of intrusive surgeries on his penis to make it the shape of a parsnip. Gaz is also famous for deciding that he deserves a ‘degree in pulling women’ and for screwing with co-star Charlotte Geordie Shore’s head ’ for a laugh’

but has he taken things too far this time?

[image via metro.co.uk]

He has caused major controversy by insisting that his male twitter followers go out, have one night stands and then tweet him a semi naked sleeping pic of the girl for his OWN SICK PERVERSIONS

Gaz and ‘lads’ claim that this is just a ‘bit of banter’ and that they are the ‘archbishops of banterburys’, however many people consider this sort of thing to be JUST DISGUSTING AND WRONG. We can only imagine what sort of sick, sick kick Gaz is getting out of doing this. One source claims that since he started this craze, he has been glued to the small glowing screen of his Blackberry smartphone, slowly scrolling through all the pics of these poor, poor innocent girls

Gaz could not be reached for comment, but according to ‘a friend’, he was last spotted in Newcastle McDonalds trying to banter with the staff and promoting his #bedofshame trend

Should Gaz register #bedofshame as a copyrighted brand?

Would you buy a #bedofshame T shirt if Gaz approached you in a dingy Newcastle night club and tried selling you one?

Is this just ‘a bit of harmless fun’ or has Gaz truly gone too far?

What will Gaz do next to cause major twitter controversy?

Professor Green acts like an ASSHOLE as a joke on C4's Summer Daze

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 07:55:00 -0400

Has anyone else watched this GARBAGE?

It’s basically just another one of those ‘documentaries’ that follows round a bunch of douches. The show tries to capture the essence of the British festival experience but instead demonstrates everything that is now wrong with today’s festivals i.e. brat kids who believe they are ‘cool’ and dress in weird topshop clothes and face paints and ‘make the most of their festival experience’ by acting OTT and ‘hyper’, annoying all the normal dudes like me and you who are just trying to ‘chill out for a few days’, take in the atmosphere and ‘appreciate the sounds’.

We get to watch shy ‘indie’ guys awkwardly hitting on bitchy girls, or just plain old sex-pest rapey guys who come across really creepy by trying to trick girls into sleeping with them, like this guy:

[image via http://farm8.staticflickr.com]

That guy is a real A-grade turd.

Professor Green was quite funny in it though, being an jerk for a joke to some bratty girls who tried interviewing him. When asked what music he listens to he said:

“I only ever listen to my own music. I’m quite narcissistic.” - Prof. Green

[image via http://www.zimbio.com]

Are you worried about the future of television? Are you worried about today’s youth?

Are you Pro Green?

Why should production companies bother making ‘quality programming’ anymore when it is much easier and cost-effective to just follow around a bunch of ‘cool’ trendies with a camera?

Does Summer Daze make you want to go to a festival, or does it just remind of the sorts of annoying people you encounter when you are there?

Bloc Weekend CANCELLED due to "riots"

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 06:17:00 -0400

What I can gather from twitter and other sources is that Bloc Weekend was supposed to be some sort of massive party on a 2,541 tonne ex-fishing ship called the MS Stubnitz or something with Snoop Dogg and Orbital headlining.

In theory it sounds pretty good, but the grim realities of mixing music with a boat proved to be a disaster. The organisers must feel ashamed of being responsible for “the biggest shambles of an event since WW2.”

The organisers made this official statement:

“We are all absolutely devastated that this happened, but the safety of everyone on site was paramount. Given the situation on the ground, we feel that it was the right decision to end the show early.”

What a bummer, all those people who bought tickets must be feeling really ‘sad face’ right about now. My heart goes out to all those peeps who feel their weekends have been ruined and now have to find something else to do instead.

Relevant electronic musician L-Vis 1990 mused that:

Is L-vis right?

Should we ‘fear for our lives’ while the Olympics are on?

Does the fault lie with the organisers or with the rabble of hipsters who just couldn’t play by the rules?

Did you survive Bloc Weekend 2k12?