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Source: SoundCloud / Innovative Leisure
FEATURED ARTICLE: Why can’t hipsters let go of the past?I wouldn’t want to fall out with a hipster. I bet they would hold a grudge foreverthey just can’t seem toletgo….they cant let go of the past.-sigh-most of us have moved on.we understand that the mp3 has replaced the compact diskwe understand that some formats (e.g. the cassette) were made redundant, and we EMBRACE it and UNDERSTAND that it is all a part of life, a part of growing upthings CHANGEhipsters live in a time bubblethey believe it’s the 70s/80s/90sfrom what I have been toldhipsters only ever buy or listen to anything on vinyl so that they can rip as mp3s onto their macbooks (it’s all about that authentic vinyl crackle sound)whats the point of buying new clothes when you can wear 2nd 3rd 4th 5th 6th hand clothes from places?for twice as much as they originally costand taking photos on their 8 megapixel iphone camera, just to run through some lo-fi filters and thus becoming “arty”it’s all about the ‘art’ mandont judge me. I am just a lowly reporter in this situationaccording to reliable sources:“being hipster is eating nothing but health food and then doing a load of cocaine and meow meow in some dirty pub toilets, and then going and drinking a load of Red Stripe ”- some hipster dude in London I spoke to, 2012rumour has it that an elite hipster group, who are calling themselves “the ultimate hipsters”, has been formed in East LDN. They are apparently the most “authentic” hipsters in East London, which would make them one of the most authentic group of hipsters in England, and thus THE WORLDto be initiated into the group, members must make sure that they:1. drink 8 glasses of Red Stripe a day2. they do not ever own anything brand new (how can you ever really own anything anyway, you know what i mean?)3. they only ever listen to music on a gramophonethe leader of this group, who is only known by his street name of “Mikey Meow Meow” could not be reached for comment, but sources who claim to know him tell the Disco Bukowski Blog reporters that he is real and he is to be fearedlike a hipster Kaiser Sozehe snorts more meow meow than TONY MONTANAABOVE: possibly the only known photograph of Mikey Meow Meowbut what do I know?I’m just some JERKwhat is really important is what YOU think:is lo fi the new black?is Red Stripe the best beer ever?do hipsters know something everyone else doesnt?does retro rule?are you a closet hipster who makes fun of hipster because hipsters don’t accept you?is it important to maintain a lo-fi aesthetic to remember our ‘roots’?
Fleetwood Mac REUNITE and get MAJOR endorsement deal from McDonalds
“Did she make u cry, make u break down, shatter ur illusions of <3?” - Fleetwood Mac, Gold Dust Woman
Yes, yes the “Rumours” are true. It was announced on Twitter yesterday that The Fleetwood Macs (pictured below) are reuniting for the first time in THREE YEARS to play the 2013 festival circuit and make MILLIONS.
Fleetwood fans everywhere are embracing the news and are already preparing themselves for the ‘legendary’ performances they are anticipating. I am a big fan of The Fleetwoods and think that this is a GREAT business decision on their part. An ‘anonymous source’ says that 64 year old Stevie Nicks has been sighted in McDonalds talking to the staff. Perhaps an endorsement deal is being negotiated between the band and the multi-million dollar fast food chain?
The Fleetwood BigMac™?
Are you thrilled at this reunion or do you think they are past their prime?
Is Rumours (1977) one of the greatest albums ever recorded?
Will there be any sexual tension on stage?
Will The Fleetwood Macs appeal to a younger generation who aspire to be ‘vintage’ or will they just not get what Fleetwood is ‘about’?
Ronaldinho STICKS IT TO THE MAN by drinking Pepsi to “piss off those Coca-Cola WANKERS”
[image via yahoo!]
Pepsi or Coke? Coke or Pepsi?
This question has plagued mankind for generations, sending some men crazy and driving then to butchering their families, cutting them up and hiding them in empty soda cans
but this guy who is apparently some cricket player or something, Ronaldinho, pictured above looking like a FUCKING DONKEY, really P.O’d off the head honchos at Coca-Cola by drinking a can of PEPSI at some press conference when he should have been sippin’ on an ice cold can ‘o Coke. Nothing beats that RUSH of sugar you get when you down a Coke after a heavy night, am I right?
Apparently, Coca Cola pay this jerk, Ronaldinho, £500,000 a YEAR just to be seen drinking Coke. Sounds like the easiest job in the world, but for some reason Ronaldinho couldn’t quite manage it. Maybe it has something to do with that douchey looking bandanna-esque THING on his head.
According to ‘a source’, Ronaldinho said he was ‘sick of those corporate assholes trying to shit on my personal brand, trying to turn me into a walking billboard, man. I am man. Man is me. I am not a FUCKING COKE CAN. I AM NOBODY’S BITCH.”
Amanda Brick is BACK with another stupid article about herself
You may recall Amanda Brick from earlier on in the year where she sent the whole internet into a wild frenzy after she ‘took it upon herself’ to write an article for the Daily mail proclaiming that other women “HATED” her because she is just so, so “beautiful” causing mass outrage because her pictures made her look TERRIBLE and she sounded like a deluded FOOL:
“On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne. ‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained. You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me…”
Her article ANGERED the whole of the internet and made her a public hate figure, FORCING her to write a followup article about how everyone was ‘just jealous’ of her ‘good looks’ and again, cause MASSIVE OUTRAGE on the internet.
[image via daily mail]
Well now, SHES BACK! with another narcissistic article she’s written for the Daily Mail with the sole intention of getting more attention / confirming her status as a public hate figure / gaining fame and glory / making some sweet, sweet ££££ / angering the whole of the internet / talking GARBAGE about a subject that is of little interest to anybody
Brick, pictured above looking like a waxwork model in the process of melting, now claims that she has some sort of ‘secret underground safe’ in which she keeps all her husbands passwords for his emails and phones and ‘constantly checks up on him’ like some sort of LUNATIC STALKER claiming that, as far as she’s concerned;
“my husband’s emails, voicemails and texts aren’t just his business — they’re mine, too.” - Amanda Brick, 2K12
I wouldn’t want to be her husband Pascal right about now, she might go all FATAL ATTRACTION on his ass and BOIL HIS RABBIT.
Brick goes on to try and drag celebrity chef Jamie Oliver’s wife into her twisted world of insecurity and jealousy, by claiming that ‘she does it too!’
If I were Jamie Oliver’s wife I would try distancing myself from this Amanda Brick character as far as humanly possible.
The hate messages are already flooding in for Amanda, with one person saying:
“Samantha dear trust me your man is safe from all women who can see. Whereas you sweetheart obviously need the optician’s and a working mirror. Actually both of you do.”
while another said:
“Sorry to burst your bubble love….. but what about the emails and texts he deletes before you even get a chance to look at them. See now you will never know unless you stick yourself to him 24 hrs a day, pathetic woman.”
Dont say that! She might have a fit of EXTREME PARANOIA. You’ll send HER OVER THE EDGE, she might go all TAXI DRIVER on you and go on a killing spree, killing you and Pascal first!
Should Amanda Brick TRUST NO ONE?
Is EVERYONE ‘against her’ like what she keeps writing articles about?
Do you agree with Amanda Brick?
Should she be institutionalized?
Should Pascal run a mile?
Would you be P.O’d at Amanda Brick if you were Jamie Oliver’s wife?
Is Brick a hero?
Should women everywhere be more like Brick?
Hero FASSBENDER to star in Assassins Creed adaptation
[image via www.celebitchy.com]
One of the coolest dudes in the biz, the one, the only, Michael Fassbender (pictured above with a small ginger beard signing autographs with what looks like both hands), is confirmed to star in the video game film adaptation.
I have never actually played the game but I think I watched a friend play it once when I went round his house to get drunk but I am not sure. From what I can recall, there’s some dude in it who always wears a hood and goes round killing people for some quest or something? I may or may not be completely wrong.
For more info visit: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18773122
Fassbender was not available for comment, but ‘a friend’ says they can neither confirm or deny that Fassbender has ever actually heard of the game
You can see Fassbender’s “tower of power” in the movie Shame